Feels like a hot minute since I’ve sat down and written a blog post. I’m not going to lie I really do miss writing, because at one point blogging was my escape from reality. I’m disappointed that I let my blogging slip but I’m trying to find that balance and learn to love it again.
As you may have noticed, I’ve changed the whole layout of my blog. So that it’s easier for people to access it and it also was a push for me to get back into things.
I’ve always said that I was never going to be on of those bloggers that get sucked into things. That statement is very much true till this day. This blog was made for me to write for you. It’s so important that us bloggers stand our ground and do what makes us happy. I’ve seen so many bloggers upset over Instagram, YouTube and whatever else is going on. It’s horrible when you work so hard on content and it’s not being noticed or shown to our readers.
I’m a very stubborn person. I’m stuck in my own ways and probably am my own worst critic. Once I say no, then nothing (I literally mean nothing) in this world can change my mind. Unfortunately, that’s how I felt with blogging. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss doing my looks and doing random posts but life happened.
Last year was exceptionally difficult for me. I went through certain things which a young person shouldn’t go through but maybe it was written for me to endure what I did. I’m a true believer that God has a plan, maybe he wanted me to learn something from last year or maybe wanted me to turn to him. There’s only so much your friends can do for you and pull you out but for me, it went beyond that.
Mental health is serious. People don’t speak about it when it should be spoken about. Mental health is just like any other illness, just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I remember when I went to my GP, I was literally on my last legs and she said to me “Why didn’t you come before when it wasn’t as bad as now?” And like any person I replied back with “ I wanted to come out of this myself and didn’t want to cause any grief to anyone”. The look she gave me was like a “Are you being silly right now” look. I remember word for word she said “So if you broke your arm, would you not come in and let it heal by itself? Would you just leave it till it got worse? So why do you think mental health is not an issue?”.... That shit got to me.
It’s viewed as a stigma. Some people think mental illness means that your screws are loose or that you’re just abnormal. I can only speak for myself but living with depression and anxiety is not something you will ever want to live with... I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone. It felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, although this feeling is very powerful and overwhelming... You can overcome it. It’s hard and that’s the truth, over here you will not be getting glazed doughnuts with sprinkles. What took me years to overcome, may take someone else a day, week, month or years.
I was never comfortable talking about my feelings or issues since a young girl. I hate it. I guess I was possessive of myself and just “protecting” myself. But now I’ve seen so many people being brave and fearless and owning that they had a difficult time. We all do go through a rough time, it just depends if you can get yourself out of it. It breaks my heart hearing about young people ending their lives due to depression and anxiety. People need to be more vocal and show that it’s okay to feel the way you do.
The title of my post is called “Reclaiming myself” because that’s truly what I want to do. I want to be able to enjoy myself, be proud of how far I’ve come in life, live up my final year of university, enjoyed little things, go out more and think about myself more. Being the person I am, I’m always there for my friends when they need me. But now I feel like I need them more because they're the reason why I’m moving forward.
I’m hoping that this post will give me the push that I need to keep putting up content. I miss being creative with looks and posts! Hope you all love the new layout. If anyone who reads this post needs someone to talk to then please feel free to email me and I will get back to you as soon as I can... Down below I will leave some help lines. Please don’t let your thoughts consume you, just like you there are more people who feel the same.
Sending so much love and light... 💕
Mind
MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393
ChildLine
Helpline: 0800 1111
YoungMinds
Helpline: 0808 802 5544
Students Against Depression
The Samaritans
Tel: 116 123 (Free & 24hrs)